Remembering Clem Healy
Post 2

Eulogy for a Father – Clem Healy

By Gregory Healy

The following was sent to me by Gregory along with his dad's essay / journal entry on Virginia Woolf -- as well as this photograph. Gregory agreed I might post his eulogy to his father here, along with the poem at the end, which Clem wrote. -- Prof. Hinton

I've been pondering for days what to say about my father. The "things" done are external measures of the man and I will not repeat what an obituary can detail.

I've spent some days reading his school papers and am proud to report repeated comments by professors appreciating his incredibly dry humor, creativity, enthusiasm, honesty and admiration of his desire and commitment to get things right.

I've smiled at the happy memories that my friends have sent reminding me of my dad's willingness to share our household - Fall Sunday afternoons watching/lamenting the Giants while eating home made chili, Spring & Summer fishing trips on Long Island Sound where, on occasion, we even caught a fish and our home’s back door that friends knew was left locked.

Most of you know that dad had lived with Seren & myself for the past 2 1/2 years and it is time for which I am very grateful to God. Dad spent time traveling to Austin to see Martia & her family. He spent weeks at Carrie & Joe’s enjoying Daniel, Jonathan & Joanne while continuing to work on papers. He roamed about New York City getting to explore museums & institutions he’d not had time for in years past. When I could drag him away from his school-work I was able to take him to see the Giants, Knicks & Mets. He still hated the Yankees. I am thankful that, as a family, we are not wracked with regrets of things not done or words left unsaid.

I think the truest measure of my dad as a man is found in a paper he'd written last year for a class titled "Journey to Redemption". In it he answered a question I'd asked him a couple of years ago - how was he able to beat an addition that has felled so many others? I will read some of his words that provide the answer and also tell us what my dad thought was important and lasting...

"How did I manage to come to terms with the fact that the path to a better life required letting to of my personal support system? It had become clear that the real choice was a loving relationship with my three children, or a love affair with alcohol. I chose the children. It took a long time to regain my children’s respect (I like to believe I had never had lost their love). I give thanks to my higher power on a daily basis, and there is no fear of loosing my relationship with my children and 10 grandchildren."

Yes, dad, there is no fear of loosing your relationship with us.

****

A Poem written by Clem

When I have fears I’ll die before my time,

That feeling the Grim Reaper’s close at hand,

I find the need to put it all in rhyme,

Before my pen is stilled by Death’s command.

When looking at the sky or out to sea,

I wonder at the secrets that they hold,

I ask is there a place out there for me,

or will my love for you be left untold.

And will my sonnets words fall to the ground,

Just buried by my side and left unread,

my poetry, my love, my praise, unfound.

as with my last remains-my passion dead.

last words of love, last words of lover lost,

as when a stone into the sea is tossed.